I love our library.
This summer we have a Teen Theme of Survival at the Library and we are teaching the kids survival skills. A local resident, Mr. K., is retired Navy and currently a substitute teacher at the school. He is the boys favorite. This guy demands respect and the kids all seem to give it to him. He also can tell a story like few people can.
So when he offered to come in and talk to the teens about how to survive out in the elements if needed, Alicia and I cheered.
It was a talk I wanted to sit in on, but the room was so filled (and I was drowning in books to package) so I didn’t. I had full confidence the boys would give me an over view.
When the visitors had left, Alicia and I asked out six sons how the presentation had gone and this is what they said…
“It was great! He told us that snake is really good eating! Soon we’re going to be eating snake for supper!”
You know, I did always used to like that Mr. K. Not I am not so sure.
People laugh when they hear this. They laugh as an adult who thinks this will never happen. I am their Mama. I know this will happen. I have never hoped to not see snakes so much in my life…and I never ever want to see snakes!
Perhaps you think I am over reacting (I tend to be a wee bit dramatic). To that I give you this story. It is not for the faint of heart.
S3 and I were sitting on the couch talking about some deep thing. What it was, I cannot now recall and when you hear this story you will realize why that part seems a bit of a blur. But it was a great mother son moment when all of the sudden he sat straight up and whipped around to look out the large picture window behind the couch.
“Rabbit!” he uttered, his body tense with excitement. “I’m going to shoot it!” He ran to get his pellet gun and the screen door slammed behind him as ran out the door.
“He’ll never get it,” S2 laughed, hurrying in after hearing S3 call out.
“Maybe we should try to catch it for a pet,” S4 added, jumping on the couch and looking out the window.
But he did shoot it. We were all sort of in shock by that. He then dressed it out and got in my desk drawer to haul out all my push pins where he push pinned the hide onto a crate I use as a table on the front porch. Then he used up all the table salt to salt the hide so he could keep it always.
But the meat? Well, the meat he washed in the kitchen sink and his mama (that would be me) put it in a pot and baked it for a long long long long long time. I wanted to make sure it was really really really dead.
When S3 was hungry for supper, he asked me how his rabbit was and I knew it was well cooked. In an act of overwhelming generosity, S3 offered to share the meal with his little brother.
I scooped out the pitifully small rabbit and placed it on a plate for S2 to divide up between he and his brother. They got out the Sweet Baby Ray’s (the only way they eat meat) and sat down to eat.
Excitement was high between them until S3 used his fork to pull away some meat and his fork pulled away (brace yourself…) rabbit poo.
“Oh, I guess I didn’t get it quite cleaned out.”
S1 happened to be walking by right then. “Oh, it’s fine. It’s been cooked. I wouldn’t eat it but it’s fine.”
My smile was a wane one as I told him what a great hunter he was and how cool he made his own dinner as I grabbed the phone and hurried to my closet – the safest place to have a can’t be overheard conversation.
I dialed the phone and did the whole “please be home please be home please be home” chant when I got my parent’s voice mail. But just hearing my mom’s voice had me confessing this awful horror on her voice mail.
But my mom must have sensed I needed her so she was calling me and I answered the call waiting to rush this story out. “He shot a rabbit, I cooked it a long time but there is poop in it. Is it safe to eat? Or poisonous? I don’t know! How do I call the pediatric office with this one? How would they know?”
My mom answered firmly, “You need your father for this one.”
My Dad, bless him, does not find my frantic calls unusual and does not get flustered by them. He assured me that they would be fine. But mom said his face said this was as gross as we knew it to be.
I hung up quickly and went out to the dining room where the boys were finishing up. I knew they ate fast and there wasn’t much meat there, but this was super fast!
“It was really bony,” S3 explained. “It tasted fine but it was too bony to eat.”
Thank goodness.
I tell you you all that to tell you this…
These boys know their mama will cook them anything. ANYthing. And if their hero substitute teacher assures them that snake is “darn good eating”, that means this mama will be cooking snake this summer.
Survival Adventures at the Library just became Survival Adventures here on our farm. Because this mama just isn’t sure how she’ll survive that moment.
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